As someone who works in social media, I spend a lot of my time online. It’s part of my job, but it’s also just a part of modern life. When you’re in your twenties, life tends to happen in two places at once. Our careers are online. Our friendships are maintained online. We discover new interests online. We consume news and entertainment media online. Even our memories end up stored online across social media. Yet some of the most important parts of becoming who you are happen offline. That’s the challenge of modern day life: living online while trying to grow offline.
This isn’t a criticism of the time we spend online, rather it’s a reflection on the truth that the internet is no longer separate from real life. Telling someone to “just get off their phone and go live their life” is completely outdated and unrealistic because, let’s be real, our lives essentially revolve around our online presence. Everything happens online. Careers and connections are built online through jobs boards and digital networking experiences like LinkedIn. Relationships are formed through social media and dating apps out of necessity. Communities are built across the Internet and on social media to connect with like-minded people or others who are experiencing life events parallel to our own. So, the challenge isn’t that we’re online. It’s figuring out how to continue to grow as people offline when so much of our attention is directed towards a screen. Access to information has never been easier. Personal growth, however, still requires something that the internet can’t provide: lived experience.
One of the most important things to remember when trying to grow offline is that growth is inherently quiet, while the internet rewards visibility. People are constantly sharing their promotions, engagements, new homes, business launches (wink wink), and other exciting milestones. What rarely gets shared is everything that led up to those moments.
Why? Because some of the most meaningful growth happens in moments that would make for a terrible Instagram post.
It’s easy to scroll through social media and feel like everyone around you is moving forward while you are standing still. But what you’re seeing is often the result, not the process. What you don’t see are the difficult conversations, the failures, the risks, the self-doubt, the long nights, the lessons learned, and the countless moments of persistence that made those milestones possible.
The reality is that growth often looks unimpressive in real time. It looks like showing up when you don’t feel like it. It looks like starting over. It looks like making mistakes and learning from them. While we’re encouraged to share our achievements, the work required to reach them usually happens behind the scenes.
And that’s okay because growth was never meant to be a performance. Some of the most important changes happen quietly, without an audience, long before they become visible to anyone else.
It’s also important to note that comparison is the thief of joy. Growth is not linear and your personal growth experience is never going to mirror everyone else’s. Comparing yourself to the people around you rarely motivates lasting growth. More often, it leaves you feeling behind, even when you’re making meaningful progress on your own path. When you find yourself scrolling through social media and those feelings of inferiority start to rear their ugly heads, remind yourself of the following: (1) Social media is one big highlight reel and you are seeing everybody’s milestones at once, (2) Social media collapses timelines, and (3) Someone else’s chapter 10 could be appearing next to your chapter 2.
It’s difficult to notice your own progress when you’re constantly measuring it against someone else’s, but true growth takes time.
I certainly don’t have this figured out, but I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to grow offline in a world that’s increasingly online. For me it isn’t about disconnecting completely. It’s about making sure I’m investing time and energy into the parts of my life that exist beyond a screen.
I try to break this into segments to make it more digestible and less overwhelming: physical health, mental health, hobbies, and education.
For my physical health, I go to the gym bright and early every single morning because a strong and healthy body is a happy body. And, most importantly, I only do the types of workouts that fulfill me. I want to feel good, but I also want to enjoy it.
I also walk my dog every day (yes, even in the winter!). This one doubles as something I do for my physical and mental health. The fresh air and the movement is good for both of us, but I also enjoy the time to just be present with my thoughts. Some of my best ideas and reflections come to me on these walks.
I also make time for the hobbies that bring me joy. I love to read, so you will often find me buying new books, reading them, and then claiming “they’re the best book I’ve ever read.” I have a growing bookshelf and no desire to purchase a Kindle and give up physical copies. I love to write, so I make time to write creatively (hence the existence of this blog). I talked a lot about how important writing is to me and my growth in my last blog post. And I love music, so I am constantly listening to music, making playlists, and buying new vinyls for my vinyl record player. I have a personal goal to listen to 150 albums, beginning to end, by the end of the year. I’m already at 92 and always taking recommendations.
Lastly, I prioritize my education because I believe that the best thing we can do for ourselves is continue to learn. I will have an advanced degree and a conjoining certificate upon my graduation in the fall, but I also seek out short courses I can take here and there that specifically target skills that I am interested in and/or will benefit my career.
To me, growing offline isn’t about rejecting the internet entirely. It’s about making sure my identity doesn’t depend on it. It’s investing in my health, my hobbies, my education, my relationships, and the parts of myself that continue to exist whether they’re posted online or not.
I don’t think the answer is choosing between an online life and an offline one. Most of us don’t have that luxury anymore, nor would we necessarily want it. The internet has connected us to opportunities, communities, and experiences that previous generations could only dream of.
The challenge is learning how to participate in both worlds without letting one consume the other. Because while so much of modern life happens online, some of the most important parts of becoming who we are still happen offline.